12. This Moment Is a Present

If not now, when?

KEY THOUGHT: What will be remembered in the end are the moments that were gathered while living. The only place to stockpile those moments is now.

BUSIC THEMES: The finiteness of life, Savoring being alive, The need to stay awake, Appreciation for both the highs and the lows, Trusting life

“There is never anything but present, and if one cannot live there, one cannot live anywhere.” (Alan Watts)

The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” (Albert Einstein)

“No matter what life gives us, the task is… not to linger in what might have been or what has fallen short, but to make the most of what is before us. The challenge is to feel what’s real while it is real.” (Mark Nepo)

“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.” (William Feather)

“I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” (Byron Katie)

“Be present in all things. Be happy in all things.” (Maya Angelou)

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.” (Seren Kierkegaard)

The subtle change from the familiar wording of “the present moment” to what’s used in this busic title – “This Moment Is a Present” – says it all. As humans, the present that we got, which no other animal, vegetable or mineral has, is the gift of being able to be consciously aware of the actual experience of living. And the only place that conscious awareness of being alive can occur is in the moment.

The statement that best supports my efforts to maintain conscious awareness of the gift of being alive is: I am totally grateful for this unique opportunity to be living as Loretta, right here and now. There are two grammatical elements to note in that sentence. (Please stop groaning; it won’t take long.)

First, it uses the verb form known as the present continuous. In English we usually use the simple present – I exercise, I live. The present continuous – I am exercising, I am living – emphasizes that an action or activity, such as living, is occurring in the moment, right here and right now.

The other subtle difference is that instead of using the article the to precede present moment, I use the demonstrative pronoun this. This is used to indicate something immediately present. And the word unique serves to underscore the singularity of the experience. In combination, the phrase “this unique opportunity to be living” underscores that awareness of one’s own existence can only occur for each individual, in a given circumstance, during a single moment in time.

Now if all of this explanation seems too esoteric and, need I say, grammatical, I agree. Any use of language to support conscious awareness of living is what Buddhists call a finger pointing at the moon. The finger can point to the moon, but it is not and cannot be the moon. In truth, the pointing itself often obscures the object being pointed at. The only way to experience the gift of consciously living one’s life is to do it.

With that disclaimer aside, what subtle changes did being consciously aware of living and inhabiting my experience in the moment make for me? Once I was able to stay present with the sense of relaxed ease and self-assured grounding that I had always wanted, I gained four very specific benefits. Each of the benefits relates to one of the four aspects of being human: body, mind, heart, and soul.

(Body) Heightened sensory perception = Alive.

The concept that best captures my regained ability to be in my body is: “I came to my senses.” The actual sights, sounds, tastes, smells, and sensations of life become amplified with focused presence in the moment.

Not only do I appreciate those pleasurable aspects of being alive, I also have become more conscious of the instances of pain and discomfort. I had been taught to shove those feelings of discomfort aside. But with increased awareness of the discomfort, I often discover that I can make subtle changes that make a big difference. Thus, awareness of my own body’s sensations helps me appreciate the pleasures of life and make more appropriate choices for my particular body’s needs in the moment.

(Mind) Quieter inner dialogue and the chance to make different choices = Awake.

My mind’s perpetual negative chatter is markedly more subdued. And the less I listen to those old voices, the more I can attend to the wonderful experiences actually available to me in the present moment.

Once again, conscious awareness in the present moment is also beneficial in the not so positive experiences. Only with conscious awareness in the moment can you recognize that you have a choice. The choice is always between fear and trust. The choice between doing what you have always done (most likely out of habituated fears from the past compounded by a fear of the unknown) and doing something novel, exciting, scary and perhaps growth producing or even fun. The choice between surviving and thriving.

(Heart) Expanded feelings of awe and wonder = Appreciation.

This change is by far the most marked. I have always been extremely emotional. But with increased conscious awareness of what is occurring in the moment, I experience even greater range and depth in my emotions. Positive emotions are more often accompanied by tears and a sense of flooding or melting. While negative emotions are sometimes accompanied by a sense of clarity or clear seeing.

Those negative emotions certainly aren’t the ones that I would have wished for. But the awareness that I have conscious control over where to focus my attention always grants many more options.

(Soul) Intensified connection to my own inner wisdom in the moment = Trust.

At this point in my journey, I now trust myself enough to let go of my habitual patterns. I have witnessed first-hand my own tendency to be overly productive and positive. I can sometimes, in the face of certain Herculean tasks, actually complain about what I have to do. I can now, on occasion when true in the moment, say, “I can’t do this. Can you help me?” Likewise, I now see that what I used to think of as “pushy,” is really heathy boundary-setting and appropriate assertiveness. I can now, on occasion when appropriate for the circumstance, say, “You hurt my feelings.”

I created Reclaim the Present Moment because I thought that I needed to value the moments of my life. That was indeed a valuable goal. But the real goal was much broader. I needed to value myself and my own life. And the only place that valuing can happen is in the choices that I make in each and every moment of this precious life.

The songs in This Moment Is a Present busic highlight all four aspects of being human in the present moment: Alive, Awake, Appreciating, and Trusting. More than any other busic, these songs sing out in praise of being yourself and creating the life you want.

In the end, all that was needed for me to Reclaim the Present Moment was letting go of my fears about being disabled and rejected. The medical staff in the delivery room in 1951 must have been petrified. They would have feared parallel internal abnormalities based on what they could see on the outside: lung damage, heart defects, brain impairment. That’s why my parents had me baptized in the hospital. There was great fear that little Loretta might not make it.

Because of those fears, I had lived my entire life looking back at myself from the outside. I had made a valiant attempt to look normal and to fit in, but those attempts only led me further from myself and from living my life in the present. It was a long hard road back to myself and my life in the moment.

Some part of me had always known that the path to the present lay in healing from my childhood fears and learning to trust who I had become. I believe most people have some inkling about the secret path laid by our acknowledging our fears. However, as humans, we tend to steer away from that path. But the path is always there.

I’ll close with one example of how new possibilities opened for me as I continued to maintain conscious awareness of my own experience of being alive, awake, appreciating, and trusting myself and my life.

We were in Orlando celebrating our 6-year-old grandson’s birthday. At the last amusement park, after three days of walking and standing in the interminable lines, someone suggested that I should get a disabled pass. My immediate reaction was a fear-based, “No.” But in that present moment, with conscious awareness of my original script’s habituated patterns, I made a different choice.

My husband and I went to the disability station and two never-considered possibilities opened up. First, it turned out that the park wanted to know about my disability. Some of the rides flip you upside down and my artificial leg might fall off and hurt someone below. My self-identification of a disability was meant to support the group, not hinder the group.

Second, as I filled out the form, I started to cry. It was very difficult for me to bring up what had been all the unacceptable and unwanted parts of myself. My husband explained to the park staff. “This is a new experience for her. When she started school, she had to show that she could go up the stairs on her own and not be disabled.” The woman replied, “We’re all disabled in some way, and she should be very proud of what she has done.” Instead of rejection for my difference, I experienced the new horizon of inclusion and acceptance.

I had come by my original script and my resulting habituated habits early and honestly. By honestly, I mean they weren’t my fault; they aren’t what makes me “good” or “bad.” All they are is what made me, me – the only person who can become aware of the gift of living this life in this very moment. It’s been a long road back to the present; it had always been the place I was too afraid to be. It’s very nice to be back.

Almost – Thomas Rhett

“But when I look back now – Thank God for the almost … Thank God for the highs – Thank God for the lows.”

One key to living in the present is letting go of the past. The highs and lows were necessary to get you to the present you have today. “When you look back now” what lows are you thankful for?

Almost Maybes – Jordan Davis

“Here’s to the almost, so close – It’s over out of the blues – Here’s to the, ‘Hey, I think we need to talk – And the it ain’t me it’s you – Here’s to the tears and beers and wasted years – On the way to lookin’ like daisies”

Our judgments of good and bad often turn out to be mistaken. What “Almost Maybes” in your life were “on the way to lookin’ like daisies”?

Bucket List – Mitchell Tenpenny

“Yeah, life is like a first kiss – You don’t know how long it’s gonna last – All you get is what you get – And it gets real really fast.”
How will you know if you’ve lived your life to the fullest? The answer is simple: How will you know if you’ve lived your life to the fullest? The answer is simple: “to never have to ask myself ‘What if?’ when I get to the bottom of my bucket list.” How are you doing at that goal? How are you doing at that goal?

Getting Good – Lauren Alaina

“Once I get a little older, I won’t worry – Then you get older and it don’t feel like it should – I’m thinking once I learn to grow right where I’m planted – Maybe that’s when life starts getting good”

The mind locks us out of our present with lies like: “Once I fall in love, then I’ll be happy.” Only when you “learn to soak up every moment, will you realize your life’s already good.”

Happy Does – Kenny Chesney

Happy is as happy does – Grab a six string, find a rope swing – Hang a palm tree in your truck – Drink a beer just because – Steal a slow dance in a rain storm – And a kiss from who you love”

Nobody lives a “perfect life,” but some are better at letting go of the past. Because “It damn sure ain’t in the lookin’ back on the stuff you never did.” What would it take for you to “laugh and live with a half full cup”?

if this is the last time – LANY

“If this is the last time, please come close – I love you with all my heart, you know – I don’t wanna cry, I’m bad at goodbye – If this is the last time – Then let’s do the things we always do”

Staying awake to our finite nature helps us live our present moments to the fullest. What does this line make you want to do? “If this is the last time, then let’s do the things we always do.”

Keeping Score – Dan + Shay

“I know I’m only human, don’t know how many sunsets I got left – And don’t want to ruin this moment by wondering what comes next”

How many of your moments have you ruined by “wondering what comes next”? That’s what your mind with its constant focus on survival will cause you to do. How much of your life have you spent “keeping score” instead of living the life in front of you? All it takes is to reclaim the moment and “Be with me right here, right now.”

Little Things – Roan Ash

“I need to see the little things again – Appreciate the handshake from a friend – Maybe I could live a little more”

Have you come to “believe in the little things again”? All it takes is “to slow things down again. Take a little walk and breathe it in.”

Living My Best Life – Ben Rector

“I know I’m only human, don’t know how many sunsets I got left – And don ’t want to ruin this moment by wondering what comes next”

In what ways has your life turned out differently than you imagined? Can you still sing along: “I’ve got a reason to be alive”… “living my best life.”

The Most Beautiful Things – Tenille Townes

“Why do we close our eyes – When we pray, cry, kiss dream – Maybe the most beautiful things in this life – Are felt and never seen”.

All of us have experienced those rare moments of awe and wonder, where the world indeed felt too beautiful to “take it all in.” When in your life have you experienced that feeling?

Next Thing You Know – Jordan Davis

“Tell them stories every chance you get – About how fast this life down here can go – Next thing you know.”

How fast does your life seem to be moving at this point? How could living in the moment help slow down the way life keeps turning to “next thing you knows”?

One Day at a Time – Jeremy Voltz

“You’re strong than you think you are – You are strong enough to live this life – Just take it one step at a time.”

This song opens with the reality of life: “There are days when living seems harder than it should.” On those days, can you “tell yourself that nothing lasts forever” and “take it one step at a time”?

Precious Time – Van Morrison

“It doesn’t matter to which god you pray – Precious time is slipping away.”

I once saw a T-shirt. The front read: “I’m terminal.” The back read: “We all are. What’s your game plan?” How could remembering that your time is “precious” help you stay in the present moment?

The Story of My Life – Lee Ann Womack

“Live every moment as if, it’s the last one – Find all the love deep within and give it away – Be thankful for all that I’ve been given.”

This song lists pointers for living in the moment. “Turn the pages of the past. Take what you’ve learned and never look back.” “Never get too far ahead or worry about how the story ends.” How well do you follow that advice?

Sunday Drive – Brett Eldredge

“It’s the ordinary thins that mean so much – That’s where I learned it all from them.”

Do you remember the simple joy of being alive on a “Sunday Drive.” Those are indeed ‘the ordinary experiences that mean so much.” What life experiences do you now savor and say, “How was I to know that there was something so worth keeping?”

‘Till You Can’t – Cody Johnson

“If you got a chance, take it – Take it while you can.”

Remembering that life never lasts forever gives a push to living in the moment. What things in your life did you fail to acknowledge had an ending – “’Til you can’t”?

Tuesdays – Jake Scott

“I’ve come to know that love’s not only the best days or the worst days – Love is the Tuesdays.”

This father’s advice about love is equally appropriate for life. “It’s not just highs and lows, and champagne toasts.” Life is found in the ordinary moments of living.

We Don’t Know We’re Living – Lucie Silvas

“Birds don’t know that they’re singing – Fish don’t know that they’re swimming – No one knows the beginning – We don’t know that we’re living.”

When have you been “staring out at the Grand Canyon, but just so busy planning the places you’d go”? How can you increase your awareness that you’re living?

When’s the Last Time – Kristian Bush

“When’s the last time that you walked outside? Played in the rain? Opened your eyes?”

This song is a series of questions calling you to live in the present and enjoy the life you have been given. Important questions such as: When’s the last time you stopped trying to be perfect? OR “How long has it been since you felt like you?” Well, what’s your answer?

Bubbles Up – Jimmy Buffett

So when the journey gets long – Just know you are loved – There is light up above – And the joy is always enough – Bubbles up.”

Every diver knows that when you lose your sense of direction, your bubbles “will point you toward home. No matter how deep or how far you roam.” And by doing so “they will show you the surface, the plot, and the purpose.” What aspects of your life have provided the direction for you?

CONCLUSION

We all come by our original scripts and their related patterns honestly. They weren’t your fault. They don’t make you “good” or “bad.” They just made you, you. The only you you could have become. And the good news for both of us is that with conscious awareness, we can modify those scripts. We can continue to change and grow and even to thrive.

I don’t know what fears were born in your childhood or through other horrible events in your adult life… but you do. And only you can walk the path to your own healing and back to living your life fully Alive, Awake, Appreciating, and Trusting in the present moment. No special abilities are needed – only the willingness to work through your fears, trusting that the particular path built upon your personal “handicaps” will lead you to the life and moments you were always meant to live. The conscious living of those moments will be the best present you ever got.

NEW APP

Yoga

You knew this was coming. I already suggested two of the repetitive activities that are known to promote living in the moment: meditation and journaling. So it wouldn’t be fair to leave out the practice of yoga.

A typical yoga session provides many prompts to present awareness. Participants are reminded to “Bring your attention to the here and now on the mat.” “Follow your own breath as your personal guide.” “Do the movement in a way that works best for you and your body.” It’s like a mini retreat to the present moment.

That said, not all yoga studios are created equal. That’s why practicing yoga online can be so helpful. Like with meditation, you can search around till you find a routine that works for you. Being able to practice at home has lots of advantages: I’m much less likely to try to do a pose “right” and more inclined to listen to what works for me. I can take notes on what I’m learning on the mat that might help me in my life. And the no-driving piece is certainly a plus.

As always, you need to find what works for you. My yoga studio https://www.theyogasanctuary.biz/ provides a variety of online classes for different abilities. Yoga would not have lasted 4,000 years if it were not helping people stay present enough to improve their lives.

OPERATING SYSTEM UPDATE

Books for the Body, Mind, Heart, and Soul

The path back to reclaiming the present can take many different routes so I’m going to suggest several options.

(Mind) The Book of Awakening or The Book of Soul – Mark Nepo

I would choose either of these books because they follow the sequential mind route. The first is organized into meditations for each day; the second provides one entry for each week. Each entry is designed to be read in sequence over the course of a year. In that way, it’s like a full-year course on presence.

(Body) Dusk, Night, Dawn – Anne Lamott

This book is built on concrete experiences and is therefore grounded in the body. The book leans a bit too far into religious persuasion for me. But if you can look beyond that, the writing is masterful. Lamott has a way of saying things that make me ask, “Now why didn’t I say it that way?” Not to mention that, in her acceptance of the need for presence and the acceptance of what is, she is funny as hell.

(Heart) Ordinary Grace – William Kent Krueger

Fiction is not my goto. But when this book was recommended to me from three separate sources, a friend, a website, and a bibliography, I decided to listen. In truth, fiction accesses the emotional need for acceptance of the present in a way that nonfiction can never do. This book follows the heart path.

(Soul) All Along You Were Blooming – Morgan Harper Nichols

This collection of poems walks the soul path. The book was written in response to an Instagram post in which Nichols asked people who were following her work to tell their stories. She wrote each poem in response to a particular life story. The collection speaks clearly to each aspect of being human: body, mind, heart, and soul.